Friday, 28 October 2011

Tall poppy syndrome: Deal with the jealousy of haters

You had a dream, you worked your ass off, your success came slowly and steadily, but you never gave up and then 'BAMB' you stop for a breather, you take a look around and damn... looks like you actually made it!

*Punch the air, scream in exhilaration, crack open the champagne!*

Buuuuuut, not everyone will be toasting you... in fact some will be wishing your downfall. Although i find this psychology entirely bizarre: What if you believed (just for a second) that there's only so much good stuff to go around. What if success, happiness, love and wealth were all finite and there was only a little piece to share between us. When someone sees you with your success - they think that you've stolen a bit of what was owed to them. It's not just that they're jealous, in their stupid little minds - they believe that you've actually done them wrong. Every dollar in your bank account, is a dollar that they're in debt! Every pleasure you have - means pain for them.

The second thing is that average people believe that successful folk get a 'leg up' somehow. Perhaps from a successful parent, a natural talent or a right place, right time opportunity. They do not have the mindset to understand that we ALL have leads, we're constantly being bombarded with opportunities and we all have abundant talents that need hard work and determination to refine.

So... these haters comes from such a painful place of 'lack'. They feel that you've used some mystical talents to steal their slice of the cake. This concept is often referred to as Tall Poppy Syndrome - when a poppy gets much taller than the others, it is hacked down to the height of the rest. This is the reason that highly successful people are often reviled. Average people would rather use their energies to bitch and scorn about your great life rather than enrich their own with education or improve their prospects.

And this is because these people are, in fact...

... Stupid

So... how to deal with them? Well... once you realize what is going on in their tiny minds it's not actually that hard to ignore them. I think that society as a whole is being encouraged to be negative even more nowadays through the omnipresent gossip columns that just rip on successful celebs. But understand that these 'haters' do not have the capacity to do what you have done! In life, if you refuse to let anyone else win - you will NEVER win yourself! By hating you, they are only hurting themselves more.

Love this quote:
"You cannot strengthen one by weakening another; and you cannot add to the stature of a dwarf by cutting off the leg of a giant." Benjamin Franklin Fairless