Buddhism has always been something that i have been very interested in. But there have been two things that have stopped me diving right in and declaring myself a buddhist.
You see, i like the peace, the kindness, the compassion for humanity - and i believe i subscribe to all of these ways of life wholeheartedly. The mindfulness and the universal love-ness of buddhism just touched me at a time when i so needed it in my life.
But there are two things that i can't quite get to grips with:
1. No magic.
I'm a spiritual being and like a bit of magic in my beliefs. Think of 'The Secret' and 'Think and Grow Rich' these basically teach that YOU set the direction and nature/ the universe/ god/ whomever shows up with the goods. I believe this, i cherish this and i'm so totally grateful for life's magicness. In the buddha's teaching - the magic is in the philosophy but not in the air. The Buddha would have said that subscribing to the 'The Secret' ticks off two of the three poisons (greed and delusion). Personally, i need to believe in the magic. Particle physics is 'magic'... existence is indeed 'magic'. I need to wake up every morning knowing that i will interact with the unexplained!
2. Being desireless
The buddha taught that you had to rid yourself of all desire to be free from suffering. I agree with this. But then all modern teaching tell us that desire leads to everything good. The first chapter of Think and Grow Rich is basically about letting desire consume you until you get what you want. Tony Robbin's 'The Edge' tells you to get disturbed about whatever you want to change - which means tapping into your suffering at its most raw level. The Secret tells us that our desire and beliefs come into fruition through the law of attraction.
But the thing that always bothered me: the buddha was a great man that achieved great things. He spent 45 years of his life passing on his teachings, opening monasteries, giving sermons, talking to people about his ideas. If the buddha was desireless would he done any of this or would he just have hung out under his Bo tree in a state of blissful nibbana?! He wanted to rid the world of suffering - there is no greater desire than that, but that is still a desire. Ultimately, the buddha is defined by his desire! He is famed for his desire and worked for 45 years to pursue it! Anyone else see the paradox in that?
What i do love about buddhism is that i can question this... ask what other people think, debate, discuss and then reach my own conclusion. I will not burn in a fire of eternal hell for identifying a blip. And that is why i love buddhist philosophy so much and i'm l---------l <-- *that* close from being a buddhist!
Showing posts with label achievement. Show all posts
Showing posts with label achievement. Show all posts
Thursday, 7 April 2011
Thursday, 17 February 2011
How to cure all problems with life laws....
Einstein once said:
We often spend all our time deeply buried in the complexities and nuances of our particular life and the lives of those around us. We regularly lose sight of the crystal clear 'laws of life' that can be summed up so easily:
Weight loss: Eat Less, Do more
Achievement: You reap what you sow
Perseverance: Try, try and try again
Finding love: No one can love you until you love yourself
Any problem: Change it - or change the way you feel about it!
Easy, huh?
So, why aren't most people slim, high achieving, persistent, in love, problem free 'living the dream.
1) People don't try
They don't realize that life is their slave and it is not the other way around. As a child, my dad used to say to me 'the likes of us don't do that'. He thought it was his job to drill into me that there were locked doors that people from low-socioeconomic classes simply could not open. Or levels of achievement that 'people like us' were simply not capable. Of course, i decided to completely ignore him and open every one of those doors to prove him wrong. But i can say with confidence, that for whatever reason, my father never ever tried! I don't think he ever knew that we can all raise our game!
2) People love a drama
Lots of people do 'try' and they should be applauded each day of their lives! (I really mean that!! If you are committed to improving your life - i send you love and blessings everyday. I hope you get them!)
However, people believe that turmoil is part of life. We are conditioned to think that people who breeze through life and get whatever they desire are 'cheating' - we have expressions for this - 'they're born with a silver spoon in their mouth', 'they're born under a lucky star' and 'they always come out smelling of roses'. People don't always want some jerk like me giving them a 5 word smartass answer to help them resolve their troubles. They want some slack to have a bit of artists' torment. They have chosen not to cultivate a more positive emotional response. Who'd have thought you can have fun losing weight? Who'd have thought finding love is a bit like a fun treasure hunt? We don't need to be all angsty about every blip. I strongly believe: luck is a competence!
3) We put our 'self' into the equation
We read the life law: 'eat less, do more' but then our mind races and we think about: past weight loss failures, our friend who is much slimmer but eats everything in sight, the time we ate 3 whole tubs of icecream when we didn't get *that* job, how the other kids laughed at us in our physical ed class at school, how mom's homemade cookies always made us feel safe, the photo when you got caught bending over (eeek!), how we're worried about loosing too much weight and becoming anorexic, etc, etc, etc. We just pile so much of 'us' onto these 4 little words of wisdom that the meaning collapses under the weight of the associated baggage.
Most of my life-coaching work focuses on the lifting the weight of some of this baggage, removing the 'tortured artist' from the equation and exhuming the uber-simple 'life law' that sits behind it and then working on the 'how?'.
'If the answer is simple, then god has answered.'
We often spend all our time deeply buried in the complexities and nuances of our particular life and the lives of those around us. We regularly lose sight of the crystal clear 'laws of life' that can be summed up so easily:
Weight loss: Eat Less, Do more
Achievement: You reap what you sow
Perseverance: Try, try and try again
Finding love: No one can love you until you love yourself
Any problem: Change it - or change the way you feel about it!
Easy, huh?
So, why aren't most people slim, high achieving, persistent, in love, problem free 'living the dream.
1) People don't try
They don't realize that life is their slave and it is not the other way around. As a child, my dad used to say to me 'the likes of us don't do that'. He thought it was his job to drill into me that there were locked doors that people from low-socioeconomic classes simply could not open. Or levels of achievement that 'people like us' were simply not capable. Of course, i decided to completely ignore him and open every one of those doors to prove him wrong. But i can say with confidence, that for whatever reason, my father never ever tried! I don't think he ever knew that we can all raise our game!
2) People love a drama
Lots of people do 'try' and they should be applauded each day of their lives! (I really mean that!! If you are committed to improving your life - i send you love and blessings everyday. I hope you get them!)
However, people believe that turmoil is part of life. We are conditioned to think that people who breeze through life and get whatever they desire are 'cheating' - we have expressions for this - 'they're born with a silver spoon in their mouth', 'they're born under a lucky star' and 'they always come out smelling of roses'. People don't always want some jerk like me giving them a 5 word smartass answer to help them resolve their troubles. They want some slack to have a bit of artists' torment. They have chosen not to cultivate a more positive emotional response. Who'd have thought you can have fun losing weight? Who'd have thought finding love is a bit like a fun treasure hunt? We don't need to be all angsty about every blip. I strongly believe: luck is a competence!
3) We put our 'self' into the equation
We read the life law: 'eat less, do more' but then our mind races and we think about: past weight loss failures, our friend who is much slimmer but eats everything in sight, the time we ate 3 whole tubs of icecream when we didn't get *that* job, how the other kids laughed at us in our physical ed class at school, how mom's homemade cookies always made us feel safe, the photo when you got caught bending over (eeek!), how we're worried about loosing too much weight and becoming anorexic, etc, etc, etc. We just pile so much of 'us' onto these 4 little words of wisdom that the meaning collapses under the weight of the associated baggage.
Most of my life-coaching work focuses on the lifting the weight of some of this baggage, removing the 'tortured artist' from the equation and exhuming the uber-simple 'life law' that sits behind it and then working on the 'how?'.
Thursday, 16 December 2010
The Three Lenses
A recent conversation:
Me: "Have you ever heard of term pronoia?"
Cynthia: "No... oh... wait a minute.... is that when kids look really old when they're actually really young?"
Me: "No?!.... Ah... .... that's progeria!"
Cynthia: "Oh yeah! Progeria... then what's the other one?"
I find it amazing that everyone uses the word 'paranoia' on a daily basis - whereas its positive nemesis 'pronoia' is all but redundant from the English language.
Pronoia is the flip side of paranoia. Instead of everyone being out to get you, with pronoia you believe that everyone is secretly conspiring to contribute to your success. You believe that everyone is working behind the scenes to make your dreams come true, pulling your plans together and working to make your day! You shake off any setbacks and shrug off any problems - because the world is working in your favor and you realize that whatever challenge you have is just a temporary glitch in the matrix!
We have a chance of viewing all we see, hear and feel through 3 lenses: The Paranoia Lens, The Neutral Lens and The Pronoia Lens. Of course we actually NEED all three!
But the quality of our life comes from where we choose to use each lens. The paranoid lens always imagines the worst possible scenario. When looking through it we feel that people are out to ruin you, they are conspiring against you and basically we're all doomed. But, a little paranoia when planning for a big event or some adventure travel actually gets us thinking about contingencies and makes our plans a little more bullet proof.
When Donald Trump sized up a business deal, he'd ask himself: 'What's the worst that can happen?' He'd look through his paranoid lens and see the most awful outcome possible. If he felt that he could handle the worst and the deal was good - then the risk was worth taking. Use your paranoid lens as a thought process to manage and prepare yourself for life's surprises! But don't 'live' there.
The neutral lens sees life in black and white - objectively and pragmatically, without either positive or negative emotion attached to it. This is how you should view your bank statement, how you consider an offer, how you step on the scales or how you fire an wayward employee. Getting emotionally involved in these situations will not help you get to the right conclusions. So throw all emotion out of the equation and look through the crystal clear lens.
Pronoia - you should habitually live in a state of pronoia. This is where you should be on a day-to-day, hour-to-hour basis. The other two lenses are like reading glasses... pull them out when you have a special use for them! But pronoia is where you should train your brain to be. Why? Well... life as a pronoia-ist is pretty amazing: you wake up in the morning and you say 'i'm going to have a great, fabulous day and things are just going to go perfectly.' You bounce out of bed. You get up pumped and excited about your life. You go about your day with an energy and a vibe that others just thrive off.
And.... most importantly - you give permission for others to do the same. People see you and feel your energy. You give them the green light to cast off their cloak of doubt, throw aside their anxious negativity and become more than they were. Pronoia is infectious and it truly adheres to the saying: 'be the change you want to see in the world'. Would there be wars if everyone lived in a state of pronoia?
Where to start:
If you're not a natural Pollyanna - you're going to need to train your brain. The first step is to start changing the way we feel about negative material - you need to find out where/who/what is feeding your negativity. It can be the news, partners, friends, sad music, tv, choice of magazines/ website, etc. If pictures of supermodels in fashion magazines you buy make you feel ugly and inferior, you need to say 'thank god i'm not a supermodel, working 18 hours a day living on lettuce leaves and only known for being a stick insect is not the kind of life for me. I'm so glad life decided i shouldn't look like them'. Flip your lens and remember it's all a conspiracy! IN YOUR FAVOR! :-D yay!!
Me: "Have you ever heard of term pronoia?"
Cynthia: "No... oh... wait a minute.... is that when kids look really old when they're actually really young?"
Me: "No?!.... Ah... .... that's progeria!"
Cynthia: "Oh yeah! Progeria... then what's the other one?"
I find it amazing that everyone uses the word 'paranoia' on a daily basis - whereas its positive nemesis 'pronoia' is all but redundant from the English language.
Pronoia is the flip side of paranoia. Instead of everyone being out to get you, with pronoia you believe that everyone is secretly conspiring to contribute to your success. You believe that everyone is working behind the scenes to make your dreams come true, pulling your plans together and working to make your day! You shake off any setbacks and shrug off any problems - because the world is working in your favor and you realize that whatever challenge you have is just a temporary glitch in the matrix!
We have a chance of viewing all we see, hear and feel through 3 lenses: The Paranoia Lens, The Neutral Lens and The Pronoia Lens. Of course we actually NEED all three!
But the quality of our life comes from where we choose to use each lens. The paranoid lens always imagines the worst possible scenario. When looking through it we feel that people are out to ruin you, they are conspiring against you and basically we're all doomed. But, a little paranoia when planning for a big event or some adventure travel actually gets us thinking about contingencies and makes our plans a little more bullet proof.
When Donald Trump sized up a business deal, he'd ask himself: 'What's the worst that can happen?' He'd look through his paranoid lens and see the most awful outcome possible. If he felt that he could handle the worst and the deal was good - then the risk was worth taking. Use your paranoid lens as a thought process to manage and prepare yourself for life's surprises! But don't 'live' there.
The neutral lens sees life in black and white - objectively and pragmatically, without either positive or negative emotion attached to it. This is how you should view your bank statement, how you consider an offer, how you step on the scales or how you fire an wayward employee. Getting emotionally involved in these situations will not help you get to the right conclusions. So throw all emotion out of the equation and look through the crystal clear lens.
Pronoia - you should habitually live in a state of pronoia. This is where you should be on a day-to-day, hour-to-hour basis. The other two lenses are like reading glasses... pull them out when you have a special use for them! But pronoia is where you should train your brain to be. Why? Well... life as a pronoia-ist is pretty amazing: you wake up in the morning and you say 'i'm going to have a great, fabulous day and things are just going to go perfectly.' You bounce out of bed. You get up pumped and excited about your life. You go about your day with an energy and a vibe that others just thrive off.
And.... most importantly - you give permission for others to do the same. People see you and feel your energy. You give them the green light to cast off their cloak of doubt, throw aside their anxious negativity and become more than they were. Pronoia is infectious and it truly adheres to the saying: 'be the change you want to see in the world'. Would there be wars if everyone lived in a state of pronoia?
Where to start:
If you're not a natural Pollyanna - you're going to need to train your brain. The first step is to start changing the way we feel about negative material - you need to find out where/who/what is feeding your negativity. It can be the news, partners, friends, sad music, tv, choice of magazines/ website, etc. If pictures of supermodels in fashion magazines you buy make you feel ugly and inferior, you need to say 'thank god i'm not a supermodel, working 18 hours a day living on lettuce leaves and only known for being a stick insect is not the kind of life for me. I'm so glad life decided i shouldn't look like them'. Flip your lens and remember it's all a conspiracy! IN YOUR FAVOR! :-D yay!!
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