I have developed three simple rules that seem to get me through any of life humps and bumps. I shared them with a friend over dinner a couple of nights ago and wanted to share them with you too!
Rule 1. It's okay
Whatever you feel, whatever you want to do, wherever you're 'at' - it's okay!
We're always so hard on ourselves.... for no real reason.
I figure, that you would not scorn a friend for messing up once in a while, for dropping desert on their pants, for locking themselves out their house, for wanting to quit a class or for forgetting to buy toothpaste at the store. I wouldn't would NEVER be harsh to someone else for doing stuff like this - but we're all too often harsh on ourselves. So, wherever you're at 'It's okay' you're somewhere on life's path. It's all right... go easy on yourself. If you screw up - it's okay.. just learn from it! Say it to yourself 'it's okay'
2. It's not as bad as you think it is... plus it's temporary
I can think of soooo many times in my life when i've been in an utter rage... a couple of days later i can't even remember what i was so furious about. I try hard to remember - but nope! Over time, i've learned from this - stuff is never as bad as you think it is. Every cloud has a silver lining, but sometimes, when we're running for cover from the rain the silver lining is so hard to see.
Whatever bad thing you're suffering from, also remember that everything in life is temporary! Closing my eyes, saying something like: 'this soon will pass' over a few deep breaths is like prozac to me!
3. Everything always works out, always.
No... not a typo! The 'always' is meant to be in there twice - because that is the word that needs to be underlined here.
I have never experienced anything that hasn't work out in the end. Just the other day... i was eating lunch with a work colleague. I was laughing and joking about how i once had a formal complaint made about me to this board of directors. Suddenly, i thought - 'my god, i can't believe i'm joking about this.... this was one of the most traumatic things that ever happened to me at work.. i was convinced that this would kill off my career'.
I thought about it and then realized all the positive things that had come from this formal complaint. For example: It instilled a new sense of trust in my manager at the time - who backed me up 200% without a nanosecond of doubt. It made me work harder to protect myself against future complaints and do more 'due diligence' activities. I also had to defend myself against the Board. Let me tell you - once you've been through that experience - presentations, key notes, hard conversations - these things are all a piece of cake. This happened 7 years ago, but that experience made me grow a backbone of steel very quickly (like wolverine being injected with adamantium!) Rather than ruin my career - i think it made me what i am today!
So, i want to say: Thank you J. Swinburn for lodging the official complaint against me. I was so anger I could have stabbed you to death 7 years ago... but you were an angel in disguise and i am truly grateful! Thank you :-)
