I have been reading the book 'The Luck Factor' by Dr. Richard Wiseman. Among it's many interesting insights into the world of lucky and unlucky people, there is one observation that struck a chord with me. The basic idea is that lucky people both listen and follow their hunches/intuition more, whereas, unlucky people may still have the same hunches or 'a bad feeling' but they will override their reservations because they want something so badly.
For example - What if 'James' is single, lonely and felt like he had a huge 'hole' in his life because he doesn't have a partner. Someone suddenly starts to show interest in James... this new person doesn't tick all the boxes, but they're oookkkaaay. They always show up late to dates with a questionable excuse, they were needlessly aggressive with the waiter because something was off the menu, they always seem short of cash and take money from others with ease and they also have a problem or drama!
Any one of these behaviors would be a huge alarm bell for me. Always showing up late with an excuse is a sign of passive-aggressive behavior, being aggressive with a waiter is a sign of a short fuse and alpha-type behavior (in both sexes) and being bad with money on a day-to-day basis is a big sign of emotional immaturity and avoidance of responsibility.
But... if James really wanted love - he would override all these alarm bells. He would ultimately ignore his intuition and justify his involvement by accentuating all the good points of the relationship. James would basically override all red flags and see what he want to see because he is so desperate for love.
The same goes for a bad investment decision, or a bad career decision or a bad family decision. Unlucky people override their instincts to chase their acute needs.
But our instincts are ancient cognitive systems inherited from our bear-wrestling ancestors and optimized to keep us safe from all threats. If we went with our instincts all the time - we would all be unnecessarily risk averse. So where's the equilibrium?
I think it's easier to weigh up the risks and opportunities of life when you show up to the world 'whole' rather than 'with holes'. People 'with holes' are constantly trying to fill themselves up with external factors - achievements, money, love, success, attention, drugs, alcohol, etc. But if you're already 'whole' your need for love, money, attention, a glittering career is less if you already believe that you have everything the universe has to offer. I believe we were all born 'full' and 'whole' but sometimes we allow the bullets of life to shoot holes in our soul and most of us need to reconnect with our wholeness.
To up your luck, you need to show up to life as the very best person you could be. Like attracts like - the greater you are yourself the more your confidence and magnetism will warn off insecure people who are more likely to take advantage and abuse your relationship. Being great yourself will attract more 'whole' people into your life - who will help you attune your lucky instincts and help you notice red flags.
As we're fast learning in all areas of life - the key to external success lies within internal development of your psychology and spirit.
